Ask the Pastor: Guarding Your Heart Without Closing It Off

Ask the Pastor: A great question from Lindsey Reed: How do you guard your heart and not close it off?

Every once in a while, God presses a phrase into your life in such a way that you cannot escape it. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (LSB). It is a clear command, and yet, it raises a very real question: How do you guard your heart without closing it off?

That tension is one many of us wrestle with. If I am too guarded, I risk becoming cold, detached, and unapproachable. If I am not guarded enough, I open myself to wounds, manipulation, and sin’s deception. So, how do we live in balance?

Guarding Is Not Locking

To guard your heart is not the same thing as locking it away. A locked heart refuses to feel, refuses to love, refuses to risk. But God does not call us to isolation. Jesus Himself said the greatest commandments are to love God and love others. Love cannot exist behind a locked door. Guarding, however, means watching carefully what influences you allow in and what affections you let grow.

My Story: When Guarding Fails

I learned this lesson the hard way. As a pastor, my calling is to love people, walk with them, and carry their burdens. Years ago, over time, I let someone into my life in a very personal way. I trusted them with my heart, my thoughts, my struggles, and even a little gossip. But that closeness was later used against me. Instead of care and support, my words and vulnerability were twisted, and my heart was left wounded. It almost destroyed my character and my witness. 

That kind of pain cuts deep. It made me want to withdraw, to build walls, to lock my heart away so no one could ever use it against me again. And honestly, for a season, I almost did. But in prayer, the Lord reminded me that while people may wound, He never will. To guard my heart is not to shut it off, but to anchor it more firmly in Him, and to be wise about how and with whom I share the deeper parts of myself.

Watch What Shapes Your Desires

Guarding your heart begins with recognizing that your desires are shaped by what you feed on. What you watch, what you listen to, what you scroll, and who you surround yourself with either cultivates godly desires or corrupts them. To guard your heart is to be selective about your influences. Think of it as setting boundaries, not building walls.

Stay Tender Before God

Closing off your heart usually happens when pain, disappointment, or betrayal causes you to harden yourself. That is natural, but it is not biblical. Ezekiel 36:26 says God gives us a new heart of flesh, not stone. A guarded heart is tender toward God and His Word while being discerning toward the world. We must let the Spirit continually soften us in prayer, worship, and Scripture, even when people hurt us.

Love Wisely, Not Recklessly

Guarding your heart is also about loving with wisdom. Jesus loved fully, but He also knew when to draw boundaries. He let John rest on His chest, but He also did not entrust Himself to everyone (John 2:24). You and I are called to love deeply, but that does not mean giving everyone unfiltered access to our soul. Guardrails in relationships are a sign of wisdom, not weakness.

The Balance: Open to God, Careful with the World

So, how do you guard your heart and not close it off? Keep it open and surrendered to God, because He alone is trustworthy. Then, by His wisdom, set boundaries with people and influences that would drag your heart away from Him. Do not lock it away in fear. Instead, guard it with faith.

Church, remember this: A guarded heart is not a closed heart. It is a heart kept safe for the right things: truth, love, holiness, and joy. And when you guard it God’s way, you will find that life truly does flow from it.

 Soli Deo Gloria,

Pastor Jody